Showing posts with label Overheard at the Poker Table. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Overheard at the Poker Table. Show all posts

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Overheard at the Poker Table

One of the really fun elements of playing poker is the conversation with people at the table.  It's easy to talk about being in Vegas, poker, restaurants, entertainment, sports, betting, quantum theory (that was pretty painful to listen to), different places, etc. - all while playing a game.  I still follow the action pretty closely.  Most people are friendly, and a few are interesting.  I ask questions if somebody is a craps player because I am learning how to play.  I'll answer questions or offer opinions on what to do in town if somebody asks.

The first Overheard at the Poker Table is better than this one, but here are a few from the last couple nights. Less overheard and more involved than I'd prefer, but here goes...

Attractive Young Woman:  Unfortunately I have to leave now to judge a Brazilian Bikini Contest.
Me:  I'll take your place if you'd rather stay here and play poker.
Attractive Young Woman:  I'd like to, but I can't.  I have to judge the winners.
Me:  Well what time does it end, so I can console the losers?

Extremely Talkative Old Man:  Where are you from?
Me:  Me?  I live here.  
Extremely Talkative Old Man:  You look like Doyle Brunson.
(Except for the part where I'm 37 and he's around 80.  I suppose it could be a compliment if he meant the way I play low-stakes poker, as opposed to physical appearance.)  

Me (quiet joke about an old local who plays tight, but raised twice in a row):  All this raising has to stop.
Young Guy (speaking directly to the old man):  If you raise my blind, I'm going to raise you back.
Old Local (to the young man): Why do you have to have to talk like that?
Young Guy: I was joking and trying to have some fun.  What are you doing, working to pay the rent on your trailer park spot?

Young Guy:  I don't know much about betting on football.  How much would I win if I bet $100 on the Denver Broncos to win tomorrow?
Me:  Nothing.  

Player 1:  Do you know where the nearest restroom is?
Player 2:  Walk out that way, and go into the club that's around the corner.  Go around the club and you'll come out on the other side.  The bathroom is just around the corner from there.
(That same restroom is visible from the table, and just outside the poker room.)

Foreign Player:  Does a flush beat three-of-a-kind?
Me:  Yes.

Another player and I split a pot when we both had AJ.  The board was A, J, X diamonds, X diamonds .He had four diamonds, so he could have won the pot if a diamond came on the river (20% chance of beating me on the river).

Me (to the other player):  Nice hand.  You had a flush draw too.
Other Player:  Thank you.
Older Man Not in the Hand:  There's no justice in poker.
Me:  You don't consider splitting the pot justice?
Older Man:  No.
Me:  You have an odd sense of what is just.

This same old man had earlier lost a big pot when somebody beat him by catching a flush on the river with 10H, 5H . I don't think he considered that justice as he stormed off the table.  Some people say stupid things.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Overheard at the Poker Table

Here are a few funny things I've heard (or said) at the poker table recently.

Woman in casino (yells):  "Woooooo!"
Woman at poker table:  "She must be fat.  Fat chicks need attention."
(Even thought her back was turned, she was right about the woman being quite large.)

Same woman at the poker table gets up to leave:
Man: "Where are you going?"
Woman at poker table: "Wherever the f**k I want to go."
Me: "She's going to make someone a very lucky man."

European Man:  "I am not very good at sex."

Man at poker table: "Have a good trip back to France."
Japanese man at poker table: "I'm from Tokyo."

Australian man (sitting between a man from Israel and man from Palestine during a raised pot): "I'm caught between Israel and Ramallah.  I better get the hell out of the way."
(True story: I sat at a table with guys from Israel, Palestine, and Dubai.  None of them knew each other and when they were done playing poker, they went to the club together.)

Dealer: "You definitely want to have a seat in here on Halloween night."
Me: "I bet it's quite a show."
Dealer: "People just wear their underwear around and call it their Halloween costume."
Me" "Isn't it a little cold for that?"
Dealer: "Nope.  They say it's the only night the prostitutes all stay home, because nobody can tell the difference."
Me: "That's good to know, thanks."

I have 5 6 and the flop is 4 7 8.  I bet $12 (pot-size bet) and get three callers.  Turn is Q.  I over-bet the pot (about $75 into $56).  There is a comment or two about my bet as everybody folds.
Me:  "Anyone want to guess what I have?"
Guy next to me: "Straight?"
Me (as I flip over my cards): "Get off my lawn."

Oldie but goodie (from a few years ago):
Man who busted out at Bellagio: "There goes my hooker money."